Rambos

Rambos Testimonial:

Ok, let’s be honest, I’m an angry man. I wake up mean, drink a hot cup of jealousy in the morning, shake my head in frustration in the afternoon, and end the day with a steaming pile of rage. Finally there’s a band that can commiserate with my feelings, and lend a megaphone for my selfish voice and direct it at this America. That band, my heated-brethren, is Rambos.

Call me self-centered, but I can’t walk down my boulevard without being accosted. I am confronted by ugliness in every form, and the only thing that can soothe my cracked throat is a tall glass of Rambos. Without the brutality of “HiYaWaTha” pumping though my headphones on any given day, I don’t think I could stomach looking at the ugly neighborhood children. Have you seen the way kids look these days? Sure, blaming Justin Bieber is the knee-jerk reaction, but I look to the parents.

You know what I love about Rambos? It doesn’t matter if the songs have nothing remotely to do with the way I feel; I know they understand the same way I do. The essence of Rambos is tangible in everyday life, and everyone can seek comfort in it. For example, if I hate the way these two jokers are groping each other on the train, making out and licking each other’s faces in the afternoon like they’re all alone in this car: Rambos understands and can shake their heads with me. Or, if this one turkey is strutting down a busy street eating a falafel, yelling on his phone via bluetooth, and wearing what appears to be a Reading Rainbow/Anti-gay ironic-T: Rambos is right there with me texting my friend, “OMJ, I just saw your douche of a brother”.

In conclusion, Rambos is not only a close friend when you need one, but also a way to live your life. They can give the voiceless public a soapbox to stand on and shout to the heavens, even in these dark times. Even if they don’t explicitly say that they’re against late term abortions, you know they have an opinion. Rambos may or may not like your new brother-in-law, but you just know they can drop him down a few pegs if things get out of control. You might have seen a Rambo fall down drunk in an alley face first while urinating, but it was done with the class of a gentleman.

Overall, in everything you do, be a Rambos.